Swansea runner Matt Rees stole the hearts of the nation at the 2017 London Marathon when he stopped his own race to help a fellow runner cross the line.
Not only did he help a fellow runner, but running has helped him out of personal hard times.
He opens up about his own mental health journey, with a blog for ...
I have been running since 2015 and have struggled with anxiety for many years. Running was recommended to me and while it isn't a cure, it personally has really helped me.
When my anxiety has been bad, I would hide myself away from society, leading to periods of depression where I wouldn’t leave my room for days. I would try to escape the world. Cut off from everything. I would ignore any calls or messages that came through.
I didn’t like myself. Maybe that’s not strong enough, I hated myself.
I would beat myself up mentally. Constantly telling myself how pathetic I was. Asking myself why I wasn’t able to function like a ‘normal’ person. The war in my head seemed constant and I was fed up of losing.
I didn’t like myself. Maybe that’s not strong enough, I hated myself.
I would beat myself up mentally. Constantly telling myself how pathetic I was. Asking myself why I wasn’t able to function like a ‘normal’ person. The war in my head seemed constant and I was fed up of losing.
On those days, I put on an act and try to seem calm and confident. I tried so hard to rationalise everything in my head. Most of the time there was no legitimate reason to feel anxious, but my body seemed to take control. It didn’t matter how hard I tried to relax. My heart would start to race and I would feel tense. I find it difficult to describe. It’s as if my body takes over.
Anxiety was affecting every part of my life and I needed to take action. I tried different medications, counselling, cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) and mindfulness. Everything helped in it’s own way to varying degrees, but I never stuck with anything. One thing that kept being recommended was running and I ignored this advice for too long. I was going to the gym and doing weights so why did I need to run?
When I finally took the step to start running, it wasn’t easy. I was fairly fit from playing football and the gym, but starting something new is never simple. I didn’t enjoy it initially. I felt slow and heavy. I wanted to get better so I stuck with it. Before long I was starting to feel the incredible effects of running. It was time I could use to clear my head. I would run off all the tension of the day and process my thoughts. Finishing a run, I would feel a sense of accomplishment, and endorphins would rush through my body. I would feel great.
Running was starting to have a positive impact on my life. Aside from all of the physical benefits of running, I felt like I was becoming a mentally stronger person. I was gaining confidence, opening up more, talking about my struggles. These things together meant I felt more in control of my body and my life.
After a few months, I decided to join my local running club - Swansea Harriers. I was so anxious. So many doubts were entering my head. Would I be good enough? How would I talk to people? I started to convince myself that it was better to run alone. However, I took the plunge and it turned out to be a great decision because everyone was so welcoming and supportive. It turns out when you're running, it doesn’t feel so awkward when there are silences. Before long I had made many friends and realised what a caring and supportive culture exists in the running community.
I am very competitive and used to worry how opening up about anxiety would be received by other runners. Would they think I’m weak? Well the response has been incredible.
I am now at the point where I run most mornings - it sets my day up so well. It’s not always easy to get my trainers on and get out, but it’s always worth it. I have accepted my anxiety and use running as a way to overcome some of the symptoms. Most people say they wouldn’t have guessed that I deal with anxiety but anyone can be suffering, and I think it’s important that everyone knows there is someone there for them. Both with running and tackling anxiety the first step is the hardest.
https://thewelshrunner.com/
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